addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
