It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
This is the high leading the old right now
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
