we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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