first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
operation harelip BJ is a go
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
