So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
