Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize