Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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