how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
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