Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?