STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
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We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
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She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.