I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?