What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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