lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?