if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.