Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
