I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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