If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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