We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
