Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
