That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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