I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Operation Purity has been aborted
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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