her vagine was all disorganized.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
