Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
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Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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