and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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