he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
