Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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