so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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