yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
