I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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