Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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