I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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