I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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