I will die if light touches me.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
