sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
