i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
