Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
