the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
