You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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