whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
