is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
