I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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