so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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