Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
