Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
