Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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