So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
