I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He better not be in your backpack
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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