Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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