not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize