why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
