no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
