I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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