so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
