If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
