Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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