sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Last time i carry you out of a forest
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
