based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
