some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
