physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
