Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
