Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
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