question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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