wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just want to make out with him forever
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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