Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just gift wrapped bread.
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?