weddingsv make me drug and hornr
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD