I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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