Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break. http://tfl.nu/5pkx
  Replies (21) Good night (3191) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (334): Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating? (1-334): You are proof that most things are best left unsaid. http://tfl.nu/quhe
  Replies (31) Good night (970) Bad night (5065)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch? http://tfl.nu/y5pd
  Replies (17) Good night (10255) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever. http://tfl.nu/6dcd
  Replies (20) Good night (6389) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time http://tfl.nu/hxad
  Replies (19) Good night (5471) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me. http://tfl.nu/xxo9
  Replies (8) Good night (1047) Bad night (2080)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore http://tfl.nu/feot
  Replies (17) Good night (2916) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase. http://tfl.nu/2212
  Replies (4) Good night (1326) Bad night (3284)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (682): Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong http://tfl.nu/w74n
  Replies (4) Good night (2604) Bad night (1066)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe. http://tfl.nu/6jsr
  Replies (14) Good night (2817) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne http://tfl.nu/35hl
  Replies (8) Good night (2297) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar. http://tfl.nu/0nuz
  Replies (2) Good night (1442) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin? http://tfl.nu/wy13
  Replies (5) Good night (1346) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".

  (801): View more from Utah

  Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt". (801): Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment. http://tfl.nu/n7lf
  Replies (1) Good night (769) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later http://tfl.nu/zhqr
  Replies (3) Good night (594) Bad night (265)

Randomize