i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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