Pappa wants mamma naked
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk