didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
