That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
