Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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