I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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