Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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