He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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