You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
